10 tiny promises I made in order to choose ME first

I am one of those people who used to/and still sometimes put anyone else’s needs before mine in order to please others. I think deep down I believe the approval of others somehow still matters to me. Even though I know that this isn’t healthy and even toxic in many ways.

I sometimes even let people in who don’t care about my feelings and values and I desperately would want to please them in order for them to care about me. This has happened so many times and often lead to heartbreak and many tears.

I had to learn that acceptance and unconditional love and affection are shown by people who really, truly and genuinely care about me. I had to promise myself in order not to let myself slip into these kind of unhealthy relationships anymore:

1.  If I don’t like someone, I won’t let them in my life.

2. I will say “no” if I don’t want to be a part of something.

3. I’m not going to agree on things I don’t believe in.

4. I won’t surround myself with toxic people and people who judge me and tell me what to do.

5. If people are mad at me, that’s their problem. Same with jealousy. I won’t let it affect me anymore.

6. I won’t apologize for things I don’t mean to apologize for anymore.

7. I’m not your mother. I’m not your maid. I have my own life and so do you. I’m not here to please you and make sure your life is comfortable.

8. I’m not responsible for someone else’s feelings.

9. What I say and believe in, matters!

10. How I look at myself isn’t based upon what other people think of me anymore. I love myself and anyone else’s opinion won’t change that.

I’m controlling my life now. Even though my heart still aches sometimes. Even though the people-pleasing tendencies are still there. I don’t ever want to be in the power of someone else anymore. I hated myself for doing this and I often relive these feelings and happenings in (day)dreams or flashbacks. I try to live in the moment and seize the day. I try to be the strong woman I am today. Yet, I regret spending time and energy on people who really didn’t deserve one second of my time in order to please them and to be loved by them.

I learned through the years that my happiness matters a lot. My self-worth won’t grow if people take me for granted. My self-worth grew after I realized that the only way to grow was to love myself first and not make it a priority to please others.

Don’t let other people control your life. Because you’ll lose it if you put this control in the hands of the wrong one. You are the only/right person to allow control over your life.

You should matter most to you.

To schedule your one on one coaching appointment(s), please email me at prudence@prudencetalks.com

Please note that spots for coaching are limited since I am doing this on my own and you will talk to me personally.