A letter to my 8 year old self

With all the things I’ve learned so far, all the struggles I dealt with, the paths I’ve crossed, with all the heartbreak I’ve overcome, what would I tell my 8 year old self?

“Hey Little Prudence,

You’re such a tiny person yet you have overcome so much at this age. You will see yourself as dirty, not worthy of love, not worthy of anything. Yet you are such a strong kid. You keep smiling through the heartbreak, you keep fighting through it all. I would advice you to speak up about your struggles to everyone you know. You are not the one who has to feel ashamed for anything. They are.

Because of what you went through you’re going to be a shy person, people who are supposed to love you will tell you you’re not worth it, that you’re the reason why people around you are getting sick, that the world should be better off without you, that you’re ugly, that you’ll never get married because no guy would ever want you. This is the reason why you’ll end up choosing guys who are going to abuse drugs, alcohol, and unfortunately also you. This is also the reason you’re getting bullied in school, not because all of the above is true. Please don’t believe a word of it. You’re going to have weak moments through puberty, but you’ll get through it. You’ll get through depression and eating disorders. And you should tell your friends. They will be there even when you’re 27 and know your entire history. No one will ever look at you otherwise because of what you went through. They will respect you, tell you you’re a strong person, because you are. You really are.

The bullies will be less than you. They will keep reliving their popular life from when they were young. They won’t be able to handle adulthood. They may be laughing at you know, but they didn’t grow. They were spoiled brats who were bored and you were “their weakling” because well.. others made you believe you are and treated you accordingly. This is not true. You’re filled with strength and you’re not less than them, you’re way more than them. They aren’t making you weaker, they are making you stronger!

A degree is not the most important thing in life. Don’t get me wrong, it would sure have been easier with a degree, but you’ll get there. You won’t trade your dignity for it, and you won’t give in to that teacher’s awful wishes, and I’m so proud of you.

Adults don’t have it easy either, and sometimes they are not aligned with who you are. And that’s okay. You’ll be at a high frequency someday, even though you’ll go through moments that you’re not even able to sleep alone, that you feel like you’re going to end up in a gutter somewhere, that you’ll never be loved. But gosh you’ll be an awesome adult even though you’ll make mistakes along the way. That’s how you’ll grow.

There will be moments that you’ll give too much of yourself to people who don’t care about you. And you’ll end up being scared of love and you’ll start to believe that love is just not for you. Don’t do this to yourself. Wait for that moment that you start loving yourself, which I promise will come. But it will be after a million heartbreaks. Don’t cut guys out of your life like that. They’re not all assholes.

You’ll go through a lot. You’ll fight a lot and you’ll spend a lot of energy on getting out of what you’re feeling right now. It won’t be in a few years because you’re neglecting that you’re the victim and you’ve never known anything else than how it is right now. That’s okay, you’ll forgive yourself for that. You’ll forgive yourself for treating yourself like the trash people make you believe you are.

At one point in your life, you’ll help other people who are going through the same things you are going through right now and the things you’ll go through later in life. At some point, you’ll going to be able to live with all of it. You’ll be able to live with the heartbreaks, the lies, all of the feelings you’re feeling right now. You’ll still have moments where you will feel like an object, a person not worth of living, someone who’s not worthy of love. The only difference is that you’ll be surrounded by people who already love you, that you found help in therapists and books, that you’ll be in alignment with yourself and you’ll be able to get rid of those feelings by doing yoga, affirmations and meditation. You will be strong enough to overcome those feelings and they will never last longer than a night. You will love yourself in a way no one has ever loved you before.

You’ll be grateful that you never gave up.

I love you,

27 year old Prudence”

I asked you guys a while ago what you would tell your 8 year old self with what you know right now. I listed 8 of them below:

“Be yourself, learn from your mistakes, enjoy your teenage years. Everything will turn out fine” – Joshua

“Dream big and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it!” – Charlie

“You will be loved and you will have friends that really care” – Machteld

“Ask all your questions” – Emma

“Work hard and don’t think about the bullies. Do everything for you, not for them” – Eleonor

“Nothing lasts” – Candie

“It’s okay to start thinking for yourself” – Mickey

“Adults don’t have their shit together either” – Meg

To schedule your one on one coaching appointment(s), please email me at prudence@prudencetalks.com

Please note that spots for coaching are limited since I am doing this on my own and you will talk to me personally.